Thursday, August 12, 2004

An Open Letter to George Lucas

Ok, you flannel wearing ignoramus, for the love of all that's good and holy, stop raping my childhood. I'm sure you're surrounded by plenty of people who are willing to toss your salad because of how much money you have, but here's the truth. Phantom Menace was a load of crap. In many ways, Attack of the Clones was even worse. Both those kids you got to play Anakin can't act their way out of a paper bag. Or maybe it's your hamfisted, cheesy dialogue. For Pete's sake man, are you frickin' retarded? What are you doing? Why would you want to let this cancer spread? You're even fucking up your original movies.

Here it is in black and white for you. You have turned into a no talent hack, and if weren't for all your money, people would tell that to your face. I'm sure everyone at Lucasfilm tells you 'oh yeah, great job Mr Lucas' and then sniggers and giggles behind your back. You stupid fuckwit.

You have lost your touch. Revenge of the Sith is a pretty cool title, but you're just going to screw this one up again. Short of Darth Maul (who thinks up these names?) coming back and disembowelling Jar Jar Binks, nothing could make this movie cool.

So do me a favor and go live in Tibet or die or something, ok? Just stop raping my childhood. I have fond memories of going to see these beautiful films with my dad when I was a kid. And you've turned your 'franchise' into a horrible moneymaking behemoth full of style but no substance, with plotholes large enough for a Bantha to walk through.